windup
Welcome to The Untangling
EditNice to meet you! My name is Tiffany, and I built The Untangling as a haven for you to untangle identity, trauma, and broken narratives.
This is where we question beliefs—cultural, social, religious, familial—and why we believe them.
Fundamentalist Christianity, traditional East Asian values, mental and chronic illness, and experiencing all kinds of trauma shaped who I grew up to be.
I have spent over the last decade untangling who I was told to be from who I truly am. Perhaps you are searching for freedom, too.
You will not find single-dimensional viewpoints here. If that’s what you are looking for, this is not the publication for you. I am not one thing, and often anger everyone by questioning both/all sides.
However, you are very welcome here, even if we disagree!!
I am making space for us to question, discuss, unwind, and rewind those tangled parts of our souls, together.
This is for you.
With Love,
Photo credit: Let's Frolic Together
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social issues
You don't actually know Charlie Kirk
On September 10, 2025, Charlie Kirk was assassinated at a Utah campus. His death triggered the usual cycle of outrage and debate.
grief
“Have you eaten?”
My grandma is dying. In truth, she’s been dying for years now, my months punctuated with hospital scares and
deconstruction
A voice shriveled in my throat
Linda Kay Klein’s Pure talks about the lack of unconditional love touted in white evangelicalism—how that has led to a culture of shame and fear, effects that are long-lasting, sometimes lifelong
deconstruction
My mother’s worn Bible
None of the adults explained death or suffering to us. Neither western Christians (specifically evangelicals) nor East Asians are well equipped to handle grief, let alone walk children through it.
All I could think was, where was God to let a child my age die?
deconstruction
Yes, in spite of everything
An honest reflection on walking away from God, living with uncertainty, and returning to faith 'kicking and screaming.
deconstruction
How fundamentalism nearly destroyed my relationship with God
I was a sophomore in college when I turned my back on the religion of my childhood and declared myself no longer a Christian.
What People Say
EditTiffany writes from a deeply personal perspective on literature, parenting, and mental health. She also occasionally shares her original fiction. A wonderful, heartfelt, and giving publication. Not to be missed.
Matthew Long, writer at Beyond the Bookshelf
Whether you’re a reflective writer, a thoughtful reader, or someone who yearns for heart-filled, resonant content, Tiffany’s [newsletter] is a true haven.
Esmé Weijun Wang, bestselling author of The Collected Schizophrenias
Poignant, honest and enchanting. Tiffany's writing is world-class and has a powerful way of speaking to my heart.
Heidi Tai, writer of Letters from Heidi
Tiffany has a raw and honest way of cutting through to the root of so many emotions ... I love the ways she explores the why's, doesn't shy away from difficult conversations and presents her perspective straight from the heart. I sit with her words ... they make me feel, and isn't that what great writing is supposed to do?
Mansi, founder of The Ripple Room
There's something very ancient about the way you write. These stories combine the mundane and the fantastic, the literal and the figurative without the need to clarify which is which. Probably because everything in life is both.
Jennifer James, writer of Adventure to a Quiet Place
Tiffany’s writing is like the gift of a warm fire on a winter’s night. A poignant alchemy of all layers of the experiences and emotions that make up the human condition, her words will continue to resound in your heart long after your first encounter with them.
Suyin Tan, writer of A Tangerine Moon
I love Tiffany's writings because they are vulnerable, authentic, and speak to the human condition. She knows how to tug at my heart strings and I feel less alone.
Alyssa Francine, writer of Timely Tarot
Tiffany always makes me feel something with her writing, and I leave feeling emotionally satisfied and reflecting on my life.
Sarah Li-Cain, writer of Searching for Enough
I commend you Tiffany for taking on the challenge of tackling such a controversial, emotionally-charged, and now (in many parts of the world) politically-contentious issue. You've handled it admirably, exploring the many facets and nuances with thoughtfulness, curiosity and respect.
Ruhie Vaidya, writer of Grieve Fully, Live Fully